Review: Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull

But first an anecdote: I saw the new Indy flick like the true fans did at a midnight showing. I was with My dorm and various other college associates. Suddenly, we grab one of our friends, throw him down the stairs (there were only like two), fake berate him with punches, and then hoist him over our shoulders and throw him down the hallway exit. Then one of my dorm mates, er... or rather I (oh hell he's not going to read this and challenge what really happened) then I turned to the stunned patrons and said, "No ticket." This of course, given the audience, was met by laughter and great applause as the players took a bow. Definitely one of my crowning achievements in geekdom.

Anyhoo, the movie blows donkey dicks. Ok, you can stop being petrified that was a dirty lie. Crystal Skull is unequivocally a true Indy flick. It should not disappoint. It's got the action, the mysticism, the character relations, the humour; everything we know and love and expect from Indiana Jones is there and great. In this humble bloggers opinion this outing was not a black-eye to the franchise, but rather a sturdy new pillar for which it to stay up upon decades more to come (so I mixed metaphors, fuck you, your missing the point, the movie's awesome). Admittedly there are one or two moments where you just want to ask, "Really?" (okay, fine there are three), but these grandiose elements of implausible heroism or whatever aren't too far fetched from typical Indy fair, and they certainly do not detract from the rest of the experience. Also one of the main characters seemed a bit hokey. But hey, no character is even continents close to the cringe worthy existence of Kate Capshaw from Temple of Doom.

As you can see this review is a short one, because what else is there to say? Great LaBeouf/Ford interaction? Great suspense? Great action? Intriguing and new plot? Spielberg has once again shown he is the king of the blockbuster? It's not necessary. Just know that the flick is awesome. A fine addition for Indy to hang his trade mark hat on.

Rating: 8/10

Dueling Iron Man Reviews

Has he lost his mind? Can he see or is he blind? Can he walk at all, or if he moves will he fall? Is he alive or dead? Has he thoughts within his head? We' ll just pass him there. Why should we even care? These are just some of the issues brought up in the new Iron Man movie. Or at least they would be if Jon Favreau had listened to my idea of just turning the theatrical comic book adaptation into a two-hour long Black Sabbath joke to explode the minds of the fanboys in anger (me and Favreau... like this by the way [for those of you not upgraded to my mental blog, I crossed my middle and index fingers]). And while my idea would certainly be the greatest thing ever, the actual movie is not very far from that (for those searching through that mess of hyperbole and skewed unlisted dimensions, I basically said the movie was really great).



Yes, the movie is really great. Robert Downey Jr. is incredibly charming and witty and good-actingly in the role. I don't know if he's just really come into his own or he wasn't used right before or I just wasn't paying attention, but every flick I've seen this dude in in the past five years as been awesome, and he usually was the best thing in it. Iron Man is no exception from Tony Stark's smarmy lines that are so clever and quick that if Downey didn't do such a superb job selling it you wouldn't believe it possible (from anyone other than me of course) to even his sparse ethical dilemma emotional side, all are well done and none feel like they break from the character. And yes while this is Downey's show he does have a cast of supporting players. Gwyneth Paltrow's here as the alliteratively named love interest, but better than that. I was pleased to see that she didn't just merely slip in that archetype (Hollywood's name for stereotype). Her character, Pepper Potts, and Tony Stark clearly have and interest in each other, but with Stark's ego and the fact that she's his assistant and does practically everything for him not machine building related (even dismissing his one night stands) you can see that this relationship isn't about to take off soon and even when it does (like in the sequels we should be seeing) it won't be perfect. There's actually depth to this relationship you don't see in typical action blockbuster. Terrence Howard's military straight man performance to Downey's cool ass playboy can be overlooked, but some of the best stuff we see from Stark, both in funny lines and character emotion, come in the presence of Howard's character. He does something you don't usually see from the supporting cast of a superhero flick: they bring certain things out of the main character you wouldn't have seen otherwise without him, truly flushing out Stark as multi-dimensional. And finally we're brought to Jeffrey Lebowski err... Bridges as Stark's partner cum bad guy Obidiah Stane, which is pretty much my only complaint about the flick. Not that Bridges lacked in his performance. No, he does a great job as the snake-charming megalomaniac. My only beef (which I guess is kinda three) is that we're presented with a fairly B-list Iron Man villain, another business man evil doer that are all so popular especially in the last decade of superhero flicks (see: Norman Osborne, Harry Osborne, Lex Luther, Wilson Fisk, Max Shrek, yadda, yadda, yadda), and the fact that the superhero and the supervillain have the same power. Yeah, I know it says something about the duality of man, extremes of the world, or whatever, but I kind felt something missing when two people with the same power fight (one thing about the new Hulk movie I'm not exactly jonesing for).

So, the movies good. Downey's good. Second characters don't fall into cliche traps. And it's damn funny and entertaining. I'd say the second best superhero film that'll come out this year (don't dissapoint me Dark Kinght). Also as you can tell Stads beat me to this, but screw him, I'm doing it anyway. I'll teach him who does the movie reviews around here!

Rating: 8/10

Review: Iron Man

-Editor's Note, I initially wrote this review, unaware that Shandeaux had also begun work on one, as he is more a film expert than I, I would recommend his before mine...but this was written, so go ahead and read it. Don't judge me, the Bible says not to-

I was recently given the opportunity to attend a pre-release of Iron Man, so I'm pleased to say that for once I can provide you with a review that is available to you the weekend the game/movie is released. 

Now I know what most everyone is thinking I've seen so many Superhero movies and walked away disgusted, is it really worth dragging my lazy self to see it when I have GTA IV at home? Short answer: yes, yes it is. Don't misinterpret my words and assume I am not a fan of ol' Liberty City. I just don't think it should monopolize your entertainment time this weekend. The Superhero genre, has rapidly become just that, a genre. It used to just fit snugly into action, back in the days of Christopher Reeve. Like any genre, there are the bad ones: Catwoman, Elektra, there are the good ones: Spiderman, X Men, and of course they are the excellent ones: Batman Begins. Iron Man fits snugly into the middle, but has a slight edge above the average superhero movie.

That edge is better known as Mr. Roberty Downey Jr. Now, I was a comic book reader, but never really touched Iron Man, but from what I've been told, Stark is portrayed  very accurately. Tony Stark seems to be the character Downey was made to play. I wouldn't even say it's great acting really, it's just who he is.  Tony Stark is that billionaire, bachelor, inventor, that we all like to pretend we are at parties. He's that combination of genius and suave, that sadly does not really exist in a human, and can only be shown in movies. I was really afraid that the previews would be the achilles heel for this movie, as they often are for anything with comedy. Once you've seen the three funny parts and laughed, there is nothing left to the movie. Well that's not really the case. A lot of Downey's cleverly written dialogue is shown in the previews, but so much that it ruins my opinion of the movie. These clever little additions are what makes this movie a cut above the rest. 

Supporting roles are decent, but vastly overshadowed by Downey. I have never understand any level of fascination in Gywneth Paltrow, I just have never really found her very attractive. But looks are not actually necessary for acting(in fact, its my personal theory, that the hotter the actress, the less the acting ability.) Paltrow compliments Downey well as his assistant Pepper Potts, doesn't sound comic-booky at all does it? Jeff "the dude" Bridges( puts in a fine performance as the sneaky villain Obadiah Stone(again, comics were made in the 80s), as strange as it is to see him out of a bath robe and slippers.  This is the first I've seen of Terence Howard who plays Stark's Army liaison, and I'm guessing his sidekick in some sequel. 

Marvel is shooting out these superhero movies like a pregnant irish woman, and they tend to be hit or miss. Some stories are just not meant to be on the big screen, and I really though Iron Man was one that would fail. But it is saved in form of Tony Stark. A last word to the wise, don't go expecting non-stop action, this is an origin movie, so it spends most of it's time setting up to that first real test of his abilities, which of course is the end of the movie. This shouldn't be seen as a bad thing, but you should also be prepared.

Rating: 8/10