I Wanted To Call It "Super Blues Brothers" or "The League of Ordinary Gentlemen" or "Jak and Silent Bob" or...

Hello, dear readers. Yes, shanedeaux makes his triumphant return. They tried to keep me out. They tried to silence my voice. They tried to have me arrested on conspiracy to commit treason. But they forgot that you can't keep out justice, you can't silence the truth, and you can't arrest someone with evidence seized without a search warrant. Being that as it may I have decided my voice is to vocal for political rhetoric and have moved to the realm of film where the worst that can happen is that Harvey Weinstein will cut off your balls (I'll win that round seeing as I have none).

Now if you are looking for an up-to-date review site on the films playing in your local cinemaplex this weekend where you'll take your girlfriend and try the ol' "popcorn gag" (pun intended) just to have her break up with you (phh! women), I'm afraid I won't be much help there. Not that I lack the knowledge and appreciation for movies that is required to review them, nor is it that I cannot write with quality or grace, cuz az u c i rite god. No, it's that I will rarely venture out to watch a recently released film in time for there to be a relevant review concerning it. So you are then probably wondering what the hell will my contributions to this soon-to-fail project called "Life in a Box" be. Well, I will say I watch an inordinate amount of film. And every movie watched from now on will be reviewed, regardless. So while this doesn't really help with new releases, if you want to see a good flick, but just can't think of any, you now can look to me, some random guy on the internet, to see if whatever random movie I've reviewed is worth your time and then probably just end up watching Ferris Bueller's Day Off again (I think it's good by the way). But that's not all you can expect from me, oh no. I will also gladly write other non-review related articles on movies and the movie world as a whole. These could range from "Top Ten Scenes Involving Rabbits" to "A Look at the Films of Akira Kurosawa" perhaps "My Predictions For the Oscars" or maybe even "Why is There Not a Hot Jessica that Can Act?: Or At Least Why Aren't They Limited to Nothing Else But Sex Scenes?". Yes, all this and more dear reader, all this and more (like some thoughts parenthetically for instance).

So now you know what to expect from me, but what do I expect from you (besides social security numbers from your closest family and friends, but we'll talk about that later)? I am one man with one opinion, probably one different from your own. Contrary to popular belief the internet is not just a place to share pornography and bitch about movies. There are times when you'll think what I say is stupid and retarded (probably redundant and repetitive too). Whatever, make your argument and get over it (plus your mother liked my pompous ass last night). The great thing about the world is that people have different thoughts and are not in lock step with one another. Diversity is great; embrace it. And take some comfort in knowing you don't have to actually hang out with me and you get to be friends with people who agree with everything you say. However, I feel my opinion is based on a credible knowledge of what is considered "a good film" and thus feel I should share that opinion with others. There are many times you and I will probably disagree about something, but it always good to hear someone else's thoughts on the subject. But also know that what I'll say will always be right, while whatever you say will always be wrong (unless you are of course agreeing with me). Glad we cleared that up.

Well, that about does her. Wraps her all up. Expect an installment soon. Unlike my gentleman companion Stads (read into that what you will) I probably won't branch into the video game writing though I probably will tackle television from time to time. And I won't end my posts with some gay quote. "Goodnight you princes of Maine, you kings of New England" seriously Stads? Why not just pull a Welty and suck my cock while you're at it? (talk about going out with a bang! Ba-dum-pa tchh!)