Best Ways to Quit Your Job (as seen in movies)

Hate your job? Loathe your work? Despise your occupation? Or maybe even abhor your vocation? If you answered yes to one or more of the above you may be a perfect candidate for quitting. "But Mr. Magic Internet Man, how am I supposed to do that?" you may be asking yourself. Well, like with most things in life, Hollywood provides the answer. Here are the seven best ways to quit your job from the world of celluloid leaving the bridge you cross burning behind you.

Honorable Mention: Giving God the Finger - Dogma

Though we never get to see it actually happen, any scenario that involves throwing down a flaming sword and flipping God the bird is a pretty awesome way to quit your job as the Angel of Death.

5. Lumberjack - And Now For Something Completely Different

Quitting a job to follow your true calling in and of itself isn't quite noteworthy, save for the fact that your true calling is being a lumberjack. And you have a song to go with it that slowly reveals you're a cross-dresser. Easy to pull off too. In the midst of your work, like dealing with a customer or defending your client in court, you just stand up and say, "I never wanted to do this. I wanted to be a lumberjack!" And you could easily replace "lumberjack" with "Vegas show dancer," "mime," really any weird occupation that no one would consider a calling. This sort of non-sequitar is a great way to go out that'll leave everybody scratching their heads, saying, "What just happened?"


4. Shut the Fuck Up - Wanted



It may get a little sappy and daytime talk show in the middle, but surely we all have known that feeling of wanting to tell off a superior in front of everyone.




3. Stop Hitting Yourself - Fight Club



Follow these three easy steps if you want to quit your job but still get paid. First, demand a year's salary and other various perks in exchange for not ratting on something illegal or immoral the company has done. Second, when your boss roundly refuses increase the seriousness of your threat by directly putting him in a compromising position. Third, walk away triumphantly.


2. My Job Consists Of... - American Beauty



Like Edward Norton, Kevin Spacey utilized the above steps with equally effective results. Even though their systems are the same, American Beauty trumps Fight Club for Spacey's explanation of his job and for going with the simpler sexual harassment suit for step two as opposed to beating the shit out of yourself.

1. Fuck You - Half-Baked

Scarface's simple and curt resignation is the best way to end your tenure at any company. Hell, it's the best way to do most things. Use it when break up with someone, as your speech at your high school graduation, or really just anytime you leave a room.