Review: Sex Drive

When has a teen sex comedy ever been good?

No. You’re wrong. That’s a horrible movie.

So is that one.

Eh… I wouldn’t consider that one a teen sex comedy. More like a coming of age/underdog story.

Anyway as we've just proven, there isn’t a good one. Teen sex comedies were run into the ground during the 80’s, then started to come back in the late 90’s before it was mercifully shot out behind the chemical shed to put the genre out of its misery. Sex Drive is the zombie that rose from the grave. Sure it technically functions, but it’s lifeless and solely out to eat our brains.

Road trip to lose guy’s virginity. That’s it. That's the plot. All you need to know. I’m sure you can fill in all the gaps from there. Everything in Sex Drive has been done. The characters. The premises. The jokes. The plot. Everything. In fact they’ve all been done to death. It’s like Weekend at Bernie’s. All they did was prop sunglasses on these corspsified ideas and paraded them throughout the movie. It’s not especially bad, just uninspired and so very, very worn (insert joke about your mom here).

I will give some credit to both Seth Green’s subtlety sarcastic Amish character and James Marsden’s pumped up asshole. But honestly neither performance was really that great, just the only thing in this film that could be constituted as good.

Perhaps the one amusing thing you might take away from the movie is “RUMSPRINGA!!!” For those not familiar with Amish people outside of Witness and Weird Al’s Amish Paradise, Rumspringa is the period in young Amish people’s lives where they get a chance to experience the outside world (technology, drunken debaucheries, sober debaucheries, and so forth) so they can have a educated choice about staying with their religion (most chose to come back, go figure). Anyway our teens happen upon Seth Green’s community in the middle of this event, and there is this one wasted Amish chick who continually shouts, “RUMSPRINGA!!!” usually as an echo of its mention. It’s an amusing gag, and one I plan to carry over in my personal life, shouting “RUMSPRINGA!!!” anytime its appropriate (wild parties, Spring Break, and like) and even when it’s not appropriate (church, hospitals, things of that nature).

I’m bored with talking about this movie, so I’m forgoing a relevant conclusion instead finishing with telling you why the ending paragraph isn’t about the movie, which is of course this sentence you're reading right now.

RATING: 3/10