Review: WALL-E

I never thought a robot would give me so much enjoyment or pleasure. Least not until they perfect sexbots and they are out on the market long enough to be at an affordable price. I mean I’m not shilling out top dollar for complete anatomical correctness while my hand and five-dollar Mexican hookers work fine. Where was I? Ah, yes reviewing a children’s film. Anyway that lovable little titular robot has the ability to warm any icy heart with his antics.

WALL-E is a stupendous flick. It is one of the top Pixar flicks (right now I’m placing it behind Finding Nemo), which means it can hold its own against some the greatest of all time. Basically, WALL-E tells the story of WALL-E lonely robot, looking like a miniaturized Number 5 from Short Circuit, who is searching for companionship. But instead of putting the moves on Ally Sheady causing some weird robo/homo love triangle with Steve Gutenberg, he finds love in EVE, looking like what a penguin would look like if designed by Mac, who was built to find life on Earth if it should ever become suitable to sustain life again. Oh yeah now’s a good time to mention the B-plot. Apparently in the future we trash our planet so much we must abandon it by shipping out and cruising space in large space cruise ship, where we become morbidly obese and absorbed only our digital screens for entertainment (where do these writers come up with this fantastical stuff?) So EVE sees the plant that WALL-E discovered and returns it to the space cruise ship, but returning to Earth is not so easy. Apparently the CEO/President of Earth figured the planet was hopeless now and told the auto-pilot, played HAL 9000 in his big return to the screen, to disregard any return home. So EVE, WALL-E, and the captain, whom upon learning of the past splendors of Earth and the horrible state we left realizes we must return to fix, must overcome the odds and protect life on Earth as we know it.

Pixar really shows its strength in animation and storytelling here by its use of silent robots as characters and still being able to create recognizable characteristics. Even with small part robot characters you can easily describe what their personality is by the small dalliances in their actions. It’s a mark of their visual mastery and the ability to convey exactly what they need to, to the audience. Live action movies should make an attempt to prefect their character's like Pixar does. Along with that the animation is wonderful. Even the horrible, dank, dusty, rusty Earth that fills the first half-hour is splendidly crafted. As I’m sure you can tell by the trailer, WALL-E is adorable. He appeals to the lonely auto matron in all of us. His antics, selflessness, and desire for love is very reminiscent of Charlie Chaplin’s Tramp character. And they do a very good job of giving you a lesson and not being heavy handed about it all.

So yadda yadda yadda it’s a great flick and you should go see it. Though I’d imagine if you have kids or a girlfriend they’ll be dragging you to it. And if you don’t have either of them, then you might just consider just staying home and wait for those sexbots I mentioned (I know I will).

Rating: 8/10